09-09-2011, 01:23 PM
Hi ck,
Thanks for your thoughts. I wrote this with a specific point in mind, but no one has figured it out. To me, that means that I haven't done my job. I want very badly to tell everybody what it is about and then see if they get it, but I know that the point is to make them understand within the context of the poem.
I agree that there are two different feels to the halves. The title is implying that this desire is unhealthy. My attempt was to show both sides: the toxic nature and the uncontrollable desire. That being said, I appreciate your feedback. I will try a rewrite from the second part down and see where it takes me. After all, any practice is good pracitce, right?
Thanks for your thoughts. I wrote this with a specific point in mind, but no one has figured it out. To me, that means that I haven't done my job. I want very badly to tell everybody what it is about and then see if they get it, but I know that the point is to make them understand within the context of the poem.
I agree that there are two different feels to the halves. The title is implying that this desire is unhealthy. My attempt was to show both sides: the toxic nature and the uncontrollable desire. That being said, I appreciate your feedback. I will try a rewrite from the second part down and see where it takes me. After all, any practice is good pracitce, right?