hi AA.
of the first two lines, the latter is the most powerful. would it work better as the first line? (only a suggestion)
the thing that needs a little work as far as i can see, is the enjambment.
todd did a post called "the line" in the discussion forum which is a good read about 'the line'. enjambment is touched upon there as well.
a stunted songster, blundered strums, i think this is a great line for any poet too create. the content of the poem for me, could be truly enhance by using "the line" to best effect.
thanks for the read.
of the first two lines, the latter is the most powerful. would it work better as the first line? (only a suggestion)
the thing that needs a little work as far as i can see, is the enjambment.
todd did a post called "the line" in the discussion forum which is a good read about 'the line'. enjambment is touched upon there as well.
a stunted songster, blundered strums, i think this is a great line for any poet too create. the content of the poem for me, could be truly enhance by using "the line" to best effect.
thanks for the read.