Awakening

Awakening

grannyjill Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 168
Threads: 25
Joined: Aug 2011

#11

09-08-2011, 09:44 PM

May I make one small suggestion? Leave out the 'sun' line altogether

But as the waning days of summer
painted long shadows
on the bustling playground,
there came a moment
when I reached for the ball,...........

bye, grannyjill

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Messages In This Thread

Awakening - by peter6 - 09-06-2011, 10:04 PM

RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-07-2011, 01:19 AM

RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-07-2011, 05:47 AM

RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-07-2011, 06:16 AM

RE: Awakening - by billy - 09-07-2011, 03:19 PM

RE: Awakening - by addy - 09-07-2011, 04:41 PM

RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-08-2011, 06:22 AM

RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 06:41 AM

RE: Awakening - by Wildcard - 09-08-2011, 07:17 AM

RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-08-2011, 09:15 PM

RE: Awakening - by grannyjill - 09-08-2011, 09:44 PM

RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 11:04 PM

RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-10-2011, 02:25 AM

RE: Awakening - by heslopian - 09-12-2011, 11:56 PM

RE: Awakening - by LaGitana - 09-13-2011, 03:19 AM

RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-13-2011, 10:57 AM

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