Awakening
#11
May I make one small suggestion? Leave out the 'sun' line altogether

But as the waning days of summer
painted long shadows
on the bustling playground,
there came a moment
when I reached for the ball,...........

bye, grannyjill
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Awakening - by peter6 - 09-06-2011, 10:04 PM
RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-07-2011, 01:19 AM
RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-07-2011, 05:47 AM
RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-07-2011, 06:16 AM
RE: Awakening - by billy - 09-07-2011, 03:19 PM
RE: Awakening - by addy - 09-07-2011, 04:41 PM
RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-08-2011, 06:22 AM
RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 06:41 AM
RE: Awakening - by Wildcard - 09-08-2011, 07:17 AM
RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-08-2011, 09:15 PM
RE: Awakening - by grannyjill - 09-08-2011, 09:44 PM
RE: Awakening - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 11:04 PM
RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-10-2011, 02:25 AM
RE: Awakening - by heslopian - 09-12-2011, 11:56 PM
RE: Awakening - by LaGitana - 09-13-2011, 03:19 AM
RE: Awakening - by peter6 - 09-13-2011, 10:57 AM



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!