Awakening

[Todd]

Peter,

The poem seems tighter. Each time I read the new revision things pop out to me. I like how this is developing. Here are some comments for you:

I was the youngest of the players,
content to give others the stage.
But in the waning days of summer,
as the scorching sun--don't know if you need the as here
painted long shadows
on the restless playground,
there came a moment
when I reached for the ball,
stopped, gathered,
and rose like some god
high above the outstretched hand
of my defender,
above the asphalt
glittering with diamonds of broken glass,--I'm reading this and thinking maybe moving some lines around may help. Perhaps move above the asphalt and this line below the god line.
the breathless dreams of the others,--maybe simply their breathless dreams
the thunderous traffic,
the cloud of my father’s anger,
and the chaos that was my life.--I think you could cut this line. It's more of a generalized statement than some of the images you are using. It falls a little flat in comparison
Like a dark fish
singlemindedly tracking
a dragonfly scuttling low
over a silent pond,
breaking the surface,
finding itself exposed,
to a new world of brilliant colors
exploding in the sun;
my body playing out some inner wisdom,
knowing it was my time;
alone with the bent metal rim;
its infinite circle beckoning,--I like this though an interesting twist to it might be: "its beckoning circle infinite"
offering a brief moment of clarity,
the world below stone silent.

The shot found its way home;--I wonder if you even need this line it's mostly informational. You could probably just go with the chain net ending on heart unbound implies that the shot went in
The chain net jangled,
I dropped back to earth,
heart unbound.

Revision 2-

I found this a good, effective rewrite. Its good to see the work you're putting in.

I hope these comments will be helpful.

Best,

Todd