Finale

[billy]

He left that evening, around ten o'clock.
Closed the door. Flicked the switch.
Entered darkness like a bus,
pulling into the station
on its last bit of fuel. Random images

danced by. Salt pebbles
shining in the bright cheese
on his last meal. A large pizza.
Canned laughter shutting off suddenly
as spotlights hit the house band.

A filth encrusted penny
found between sofa cushions.
The cause of it all was still there,
but why dwell on it? In these last
seconds of light why not reflect

on the puddles of life. We all know would "in" work better than "on"
the ocean is there, and what it can do.
He'd never know how his wife would react,
if his children would grow up hating him.
He could make an educated guess

based on what he knew of them,
but the physical facts were out of his reach.
Money. Money was the ocean, of course,
as it so often is. But the penny, the cheese,
the empty laughter, are what he left with.

the two edited parts work well jack,
even if this were in serious crit i'd be very hard pushed to see anything i think could be improved;

But the penny, the cheese,
the empty laughter, are what he left with. is superbly done and my fave, it really does seem so final.

i also thought, "flicked a switch" was perfect it felt like after those three words, there really was no going back on the path on the path chosen.
an excellent piece of prose poetry which is very publishable (jmo)

thanks for the read jack wish i could have been of more help.

i'll really try to get a couple of poems done myself tomorrow, i've been all over the place this week.