08-30-2011, 04:55 AM
Maddie, all poets are pretty much just people with a lot to say, looking for the best way to say it, and we all start somewhere. Nobody here is going to mind AT ALL if you ask loads of questions -- in fact it makes us feel rather important and useful, so ask away 
Now, this is only the mild critique forum and I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll just give you one single piece of advice: when you're writing rhyme, don't force your grammar into strange shapes to make the rhyme fit (as in "amazing your timing is" or "this battle you'll never win"). There's almost always a way to say it that sounds natural, and if it doesn't fit with the rhyme, it's better to change the rhyme. This comes with experience though, it's just something to bear in mind.
You have some wonderfully strong things to say. I especially like your opening lines -- there's nothing the ex will hate more than being ignored, or just not mattering. I know from experience it really bugs them when you get on with your life and don't pay them a second thought
If you would feel more comfortable having detailed (but nice, I promise) advice, you might like to post in the novice forum. There we expect people to be new to poetry and have a little more room to guide you through all the difficult bits.
Wherever you post, it's good to see you jumping in.
Now, this is only the mild critique forum and I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll just give you one single piece of advice: when you're writing rhyme, don't force your grammar into strange shapes to make the rhyme fit (as in "amazing your timing is" or "this battle you'll never win"). There's almost always a way to say it that sounds natural, and if it doesn't fit with the rhyme, it's better to change the rhyme. This comes with experience though, it's just something to bear in mind.
You have some wonderfully strong things to say. I especially like your opening lines -- there's nothing the ex will hate more than being ignored, or just not mattering. I know from experience it really bugs them when you get on with your life and don't pay them a second thought
If you would feel more comfortable having detailed (but nice, I promise) advice, you might like to post in the novice forum. There we expect people to be new to poetry and have a little more room to guide you through all the difficult bits.
Wherever you post, it's good to see you jumping in.
It could be worse