Promenade (revised)
#5
no probs,

first thing that hits me is the colour difference, the edit is much more
readable. the 2nd thing that hits me is the comma or should i say it doesn't
in such a short poem those two edits lift it higher, i already enjoyed the original so as it is now is a bonus.

thanks for the read and the edit.
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Messages In This Thread
Promenade (revised) - by Aish - 08-19-2011, 02:36 PM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by ckeo - 08-19-2011, 02:44 PM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by billy - 08-20-2011, 07:36 PM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by Aish - 08-23-2011, 07:53 AM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by billy - 08-23-2011, 11:21 AM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by Todd - 08-23-2011, 11:32 AM
RE: Promenade (revised) - by Aish - 08-23-2011, 03:27 PM



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