Logos

[Leanne]

The mythos/logos dichotomy is one of my all-time favourite subjects to explore, and you've actually managed to weave them together in almost exactly the opposite direction to where I usually go, which is fascinating for me. The Speaker is very much a creator explaining to a rather dull but particularly favoured creation how the universe works, never seeming patronising but rather, just completely aware of how distinctly superior He is, and how limited the subject. Also, there is an underlying sadness that is very clearly drawn in the first strophe with "I pity you, everything will be less vibrant now". I actually felt sorry for the Speaker throughout, as He seems quite weary -- it can't be too fantastic being all-powerful and all-knowing when there's nothing left to discover. All that's left is to create critters and watch them do what He can't. And in the final strophe it's clear that He knows these creations will get themselves into trouble, thinking they know everything and forgetting that immense gulf between human and deity, so they're going to need someone to bail them out -- if only they're not too wrapped up in themselves to realise the "proper time".

So much to like here, Todd

The flavor you are trying to describe 

is found in the seeds 
of the pomegranate, -- brilliant opening lines, and using the pomegranate brings in the Persephone myth as well as Eden, not to mention that pomegranate seeds are easy to extract and count, but very ephemeral on the tongue
mixed with moonlight and tears. You will never 

forget this taste. I pity you,

everything will be less 

vibrant now.


If you had asked: 
How are we alike? -- feelings of inconsequence, and yet these are at odds with the very fact that the Speaker is addressing the subject
The stars would still be your blanket. 

The garden still soft beneath your feet. 



No, I would not have said love—that is not

the image you bear. The sword still spins
to protect this creation from your harsh love.
A love that would crush the Jay in its hands
The blood sings from the ground to Me— 

not for vengeance—but in awe. 

-- this strophe is excellent, but these two lines in particular are stunning

Does that give you a clue?

I am a Namer. What was light

before I said it?
You are also a Namer. I would not -- would you consider "you too are a Namer"?
take that from you though
your tongue has turned black. 

You do more than define—you create. -- this line is a bit over-telly for me.

The thought gives birth to the word;
the word precedes the act. 

What was murder before you said it? 

You have continued to name 



Deceit, Fear, 
Shame

Each word conceives and confines. -- for me, this line takes the poem deep into allegory and gives the poet God-like qualities, but I think that's just my megalomania talking
You lack patience, and will not hear me.

My words will no longer strive 

with your limited vocabulary. -- "strive with" seems slightly off to me, but I'm momentarily lost for alternatives.
I leave you one word behind. 



Hope 



It didn’t exist before I said it. -- this is possibly belabouring
At the proper time you must scream it 

to the hills and look up.
You will find Me waiting there,
I never left. 

For I too am a Namer, 

and I AM patient. -- I AM is a very fine touch