Late night again

[maddie4u]

hi maddie.

first off, it's great to see you posting.
can i ask if you did a copy and paste with the poem or are the
line spaces intended, if they are then for me it draws the poem out too much,

the poem sounds really personal, which adds an extra dimension of realism. the thing with personal poems is that they often taint
honest and helpful feedback, because of that i'll just read it as A poem.

the poem feels really heartfelt but it also feels a bit loose. (which could just be all that empty space. )

personally i would remove the first line. it feels like the poem is seeking sympathy instead of explaining the late night which is in the title.
it would read as;


Have you looked into the saddest of small eyes,
and heard the bell of a harsh world ring true?

Knowing all you have learned,
and "it is what it is"
doesn't lesson the burn,
doesn't make it easier for my kids.

if you can, see if there's anywhere else you can tighten the poem up
the narrative evokes the emotions that control the tear ducts.
it has an honesty that works well.

the 2nd thing is the rhyme scheme. in places there are no rhymes. in many places they're are.
if you use a rhyme scheme try and keep it consistent.

i hoe what i said helps, feel free to ignore anything you don't agree with.

thanks for the read, hope to see more