beauty

[Todd]

Jack, I can't think of any big improvements on this one. I also don't find it hampered by its lack of punctuation. You could choose to cut the first use of beauty and have it be like the title bleediing into the first line if you wanted (not necessarily better just an option). I like that your first two examples are simple beauty as an object of lust and then you make it a bit more complicated. The last three examples are surprising, solid images. I like the gray fences and the lonely bench. In S2. you start off mild again with a friend's love and then you change aesthetics and we suddenly see what Jack the Ripper finds beautiful. The addition of dark caves gives an additional unsettling take. So that by the time we reach the decanter we aren't thinking of sunlight glistening off alcohol but we've been primed to think of the emptiness in the bottle and the oblivion brought by overuse.

In S4, you may want to alter your first line to make the transition stronger, maybe switch the lead in at the last line of S3 to use the enjambment to this end:

to represent beauty

which like reality doesn't exist
as the TV shrinks are fond
of reminding their patients

Not sure if that's necessary. It's a solid piece Jack. I think your imagery goes a long way toward selling it.

Best,

Todd