02-13-2010, 04:05 PM
Nice poem! One part lost me, though:
but, the shine shattered into piece,
the waves destroyed the picture,
strengthens of the waves over powered,
the picture decreasing
I don't think you need the fourth line, to be honest.
The second half of the poem looks like it could use
Cleaning up, some spelling errors, but overall
I enjoyed it!
but, the shine shattered into piece,
the waves destroyed the picture,
strengthens of the waves over powered,
the picture decreasing
I don't think you need the fourth line, to be honest.
The second half of the poem looks like it could use
Cleaning up, some spelling errors, but overall
I enjoyed it!
"To risk is to lose your footing. To avoid risk is to lose yourself"
-Soren Kierkegaard
-Soren Kierkegaard