08-05-2011, 10:19 AM
Thank you for the kind words and feedback Billy. All the extraneous words you mention were added to create a rhythm. I have a system with some poems where I read each stanza really fast after it's finished to make sure there are no hiccups. That said, reading them again with your changes put in place they flow just as well, so I think I'll edit them thusly. Cheers.
What do you suggest to make the weak verses more showy than telly? And how is the last verse pretentious?
Thank you for the heads ups on the spelling errors, I'll correct them now.
What do you suggest to make the weak verses more showy than telly? And how is the last verse pretentious?
Thank you for the heads ups on the spelling errors, I'll correct them now.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe