"Frozen Ink" (Revised)

[ckeo]

i love the first two lines craig.
after that i think you need to cut away some stuff;

I press so hard leaving scars
my fucking pen wont write

my mind is frenetic
as I move over the lines

sometimes I want to sanitize
and jump right off the brink

my words fall, helpless
written in frozen ink.

jmo thanks for the read.

So, your way there I like, it slows down the pace, comes across more like a thought than a rant.