Doughnut

[critical mass]

Heslopian

I think I missed the truth in this one.
I understand the sun pouring on the doughnut
and making it bleed the jam out or at least
bring it to the surface. I just don't get the message. Sorry.
I do like the way the words have different meanings in the lines.

the sun pouring on
sugar,
*** the sun is pouring down on sugar.
*** the sun is pouring sugar.

threatens to break the light
surface.

***The jam threatens to break the light from getting to the doughnut
*** The light threatens to break the skin.

I don't know if that was intentional, but it's pretty cool.


There is some
truth

in a black rimmed
plate
*** I can't get my mind around the black rim of the plate.
Is there less truth in a blue rimmed plate.


with a jam
doughnut

on it,



resting by a large
window,


the sun pouring on
sugar,

flesh, as a hint of
blood
*** This sounds like sugar flesh when read outloud. It also sounds
like an intentional give away to set up the blood. I don't quite get the meaning in this, so this may be a needed word.

threatens to break the light
surface.


I like the way this reads. You carried the voice all the way through this.
"There is some truth" is a good opening line, makes me want to read it.
"in a black rimmed plate" also kept me hooked.

You know.
I may use this as my signature.

There is some truth in a black rimmed plate.


David