Free
#5
(07-27-2011, 07:03 AM)ICSoria Wrote:  I drink my weight in empty dreams;
fed by a feeble fantasy
that life is still as sweet and full
as when your heart belonged to me:
when all my hopes were wrapped in you
before you chose to be set free.

ICSoria
©2011
a few good things going on. the insinuation of drinking to forget in the 1st line, yet the ambiguity can lead in a different direction, such as a metaphor for daydreaming about her/him still being with you.
it feels a little weak and lacks any solid imagery but it still works for me. jmo
thanks for the read.

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Messages In This Thread
Free - by ICSoria - 07-27-2011, 07:03 AM
RE: Free - by critical mass - 07-27-2011, 07:36 AM
RE: Free - by ckeo - 07-27-2011, 08:52 AM
RE: Free - by ICSoria - 07-27-2011, 01:25 PM
RE: Free - by billy - 07-27-2011, 02:03 PM
RE: Free - by ICSoria - 07-30-2011, 10:40 AM
RE: Free - by billy - 07-31-2011, 01:25 PM
RE: Free - by ICSoria - 08-03-2011, 06:25 AM
RE: Free - by billy - 08-03-2011, 08:38 AM



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