07-27-2011, 12:05 PM
(07-27-2011, 11:54 AM)addy Wrote: Interesting how you made it so the moving train doubles as both a metaphor and a weary POV spectator. I'm even interested in the conductor... is he supposed to be just some guy/leader of men/god (the last option is particularly intriguing)? If this is meant to be a proper metered poem, it's still clunky and uneven at spots... anyway it's your choice to edit the meter, or just make it free verse (imo I hope the former). Thanks for sharingHi Addy
well.. i am not good with proper meter.. it is something I am working on and it coming out somewhat metered is accidental... I have to study what proper meter means.yes you are correct about the conductor
** The way I intended it to be read was for the first two lines of each stanza to be choppy with the remaining two read as one.