Hi Aish,
I sort of read "at the foot of the world" like I was reading a myth. Like Jörmungandr, though in this case I guess Anansi would be more appropriate. So, it read more like I am THE spider. The prototype of spider if you will.
in the center of pearlescent secrets is a great description of not only the web, but it makes you think of the secrets as vibrations on the web--as if the secrets were prey. Metaphorically, I guess the speaker is someone who appears delicate and unobtrusive (the foot of the world might speak to a meek social positon, or to someone easily overlooked).
The last two lines tell us that what we think we see with this person is not what we really see. Intentionally may simply mean that it was their intention or simply that it was a design from nature they cannot help but be what they are--but whatever that is it isn't delicate.
It's a tight little piece that works well. I will stand with some of the other comments and say that the punctuation heavily detracts--even though I'm sure it's intentional I don't think it buys you more than it costs you. I would consider smoothing out the fragments or eliminating punctuation entirely perhaps.
Just some things to consider.
Best,
Todd
I sort of read "at the foot of the world" like I was reading a myth. Like Jörmungandr, though in this case I guess Anansi would be more appropriate. So, it read more like I am THE spider. The prototype of spider if you will.
in the center of pearlescent secrets is a great description of not only the web, but it makes you think of the secrets as vibrations on the web--as if the secrets were prey. Metaphorically, I guess the speaker is someone who appears delicate and unobtrusive (the foot of the world might speak to a meek social positon, or to someone easily overlooked).
The last two lines tell us that what we think we see with this person is not what we really see. Intentionally may simply mean that it was their intention or simply that it was a design from nature they cannot help but be what they are--but whatever that is it isn't delicate.
It's a tight little piece that works well. I will stand with some of the other comments and say that the punctuation heavily detracts--even though I'm sure it's intentional I don't think it buys you more than it costs you. I would consider smoothing out the fragments or eliminating punctuation entirely perhaps.
Just some things to consider.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson