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Communion
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07-25-2011, 08:31 AM
I agree with Todd about the "why" lines -- in the original perhaps the repetition of "love" was overdone, but now that you've removed that, I think that a simple "why" seems far too generic and doesn't give us enough of a key into the poem.
But I do like the rest of the changes 
It could be worse
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Communion - by Leanne - 07-11-2011, 05:35 AM
RE: Communion - by addy - 07-11-2011, 09:05 AM
RE: Communion - by billy - 07-11-2011, 09:38 AM
RE: Communion - by Aish - 07-23-2011, 09:18 AM
RE: Communion - by billy - 07-23-2011, 02:59 PM
RE: Communion - by Aish - 07-24-2011, 05:54 AM
RE: Communion - by billy - 07-24-2011, 10:41 AM
RE: Communion - by Todd - 07-24-2011, 10:32 AM
RE: Communion - by critical mass - 07-24-2011, 10:51 PM
RE: Communion - by Leanne - 07-25-2011, 08:31 AM
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