07-21-2011, 05:17 PM
The main issues in form have already been pointed out... imo the form is not as bad as you think 
. My other nits are mainly logical; the poem speaks of setting emotions free by... locking up dreams? Something about it doesn't jibe so well for me, though it is beautifully written.
. My other nits are mainly logical; the poem speaks of setting emotions free by... locking up dreams? Something about it doesn't jibe so well for me, though it is beautifully written.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?