Grandmother

[Todd]

I often find form difficult. I do like what you've done here Jack, in as much as, you have very little room to work (choose two refrains and three independant lines). The line that really pops out for me is: "As purple flowers burn like stars" Gorgeous writing! While to my untrained ear the meter sounded fine, I did have one concern: shard. Yes, yes I hate the word normally but that isn't it. Shouldn't that line rhyme with your second refrain (promenade)?

That's all I've got.

Best,

Todd