Communion

[billy]

You asked me once
gently, in the dark nice opener

why I love you so much. for me 'why' would have been enough.

Your quiet earnestness
and soft pleading broke my heart.

I didn't answer very well.
Unexpected vulnerability stole my breath
and sinuous words slumbered in the void.

I love you same here for me this line would work just as well as 'It is'
because you've always been with me.

You are the disseminator dancing,
licking and stinging uninitiated ears
with every waltzing breeze past youth. this line is excellent in imagery

I love you because you're beautiful and wild, same here for me 'i love is you because' is excessive
and the roots of your soul
anchor thick in the ore of chaos. great line

I bury my dead in you, an exceptional line
and watch God take form in your eyes -
as we conquer one another
cracking our communion rib - another great line
and you know the worth of my intimacy.

I love you because in the spiral here, here for me is where 'i love you' hits, it culminates the poem and directs us clearly to what the question was with the statement of it..
our bodies are the place where power combines
and there is an ambition in our blood, to mingle is 'an' needed

and be set free. not sure this line works for me.

i enjoyed the read, a good love poem with some good solid imagery that's fresh. as you can see the repetition of i love you didn't work too well for me but thats a smaller point than it seems. everything apart from the last line are really nits. for me, on their own they don't matter per say but i think a small edit could make this a publishable poem jmo

thanks for the read.