07-11-2011, 09:07 AM
Billy, sorry to be contrary but I really like the volcano image and find it blends nicely into the cut glass of the next stanza. I do think you could do without "huge" on that line, however, as it's implied and I don't feel it's the size that's important, but the heat.
My grandmother was dirt poor, but had exquisite taste, so the few ornaments and trinkets she had were of excellent quality. I think you've drawn both woman and memory here vividly, and it's an enjoyable read.
My grandmother was dirt poor, but had exquisite taste, so the few ornaments and trinkets she had were of excellent quality. I think you've drawn both woman and memory here vividly, and it's an enjoyable read.
It could be worse