07-11-2011, 05:35 AM
Your opening lines are simple and simply stunning, and "I didn't answer very well" is a familiar feeling.
The list-like format reminds me of all those times when you walk away wishing that you could just have that question again, because all your answers are so much better once you've thought about them -- but the chances of you actually saying them aloud are much greater in your head than in reality, because the tongue gets embarrassed and won't make the right shapes.
"I bury my dead in you" speaks very strongly to me.
I genuinely have no changes to suggest.
The list-like format reminds me of all those times when you walk away wishing that you could just have that question again, because all your answers are so much better once you've thought about them -- but the chances of you actually saying them aloud are much greater in your head than in reality, because the tongue gets embarrassed and won't make the right shapes.
"I bury my dead in you" speaks very strongly to me.
I genuinely have no changes to suggest.
It could be worse