Bank.

[billy]

Melancholic wondering,
Somnambulant
Startled, suddenly
A stumbling step.
I cannot fall here. would quotations or italics work here
A slumberous rumble
Booms across the quiet
Unconscious of the city,
Heralding dawn.

There are men alseep on the banks asleep
Receded, Suckling silt suckling great line
Laps and hungrily licks my feet,
And famine claws at my ankles, would a period work here
Viscous and molten spine i got stuck on this line for a while
because of the last commaA black bile, gurgling past
Penetrating the viscera,
Cleaving the palaces, and towers,
The canopy of spires gilded
By a coming rapturous morn.

Wandering through the haunts
Of golden angel’s wharfs
And silver queen’s walks,
I cannot fall here,
There are men waking on the banks
Heralding dawn.

Oil-skinned and grinning, sentinels,
Twisted serpents are my guides
And coil the globes still lit,
In this unconscious of the city.
I follow the lights away,
Less I fall,
Before the world starts again.

i thought it a good read,

a nit for me is the use of caps when you use full grammar, when we do this we negate grammar (jmo) for me keep the grammar out if you cap all lines.

i think the gramma needs a little work along with a couple of spelling mistakes.
the 4th line of the 1st verse was a gem, for me it holds the reader and makes him want to know why.
i really enjoyed the 2nd verse which was full of strong images for the river/canal.

for me it feels like the men on the bank work the docks or are the navvies who build the canal.
i like the dreamscape and all that was in it.
thanks for the read.