07-05-2011, 02:34 PM
(07-04-2011, 04:39 PM)Aish Wrote: Hi, Addy! Thank you so much for taking time with this! Do you have a suggestion for an image in S2? I do agree with you in regards to the 'my demon lover line'. It kind of saddens me, really. In full disclosure I wrote this piece 8 years ago, and it's wonderful to resurrect it and polish it up a bit. I don't have the heart to change that line, though.You don't really need to change much in S2... I really like the "soul readjusts" line and to me is pretty orginal, but "pushes boundaries" then sounds almost generic in comparison (just imo of course). To give a (rather bad LOL) example, rephrasing it to something like "...soul readjusts... and stretches... to a clove" already makes it show more than tell. Of course this is 100% your poem and what you say goes! Heck, I do understand your attachment to the "demon lover" line and have no particular qualms about it, but thought I'd point it out
. You have free reign on all edits, my dear
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?