Got It Good

[billy]

When spring came that year, we joined hands
in a ring-a-rosy dervish; I
giggling, you wondering how.
I only notice now, from your Kodak blush,
that the push of the crowd made you cower nice internal rhythm with blush, push
as you thrust your pigtailed prettiness before you:
gold, like Maccabee’s shield. gold works but for some reason i keep wanting to read 'golden' (though i know the shield was gold)

We played pat-a-cake in the summer,
cross-legged on concrete like beggars.
You envied me my knees
free of daubed mercurochrome;
my home, too poor for even a coat of dust,
but just a pocket full of seeds,
not a coffin of secrets.

I saw you flinch and twist
as your wrist cracked under his hand.
Leaves fell without pause
and you did not break their silence,
nor I.

The autumn and I awoke
to you: broken in the first snow,
golden eagles spread saintly
about your head.

the last verse is the one which breaks the kneecaps.
the poem has a great sense of violence and fear though both are only mentioned in passing. the sadness also shows through. not sure i have any constructive feedback bar the gold/golden nit.

i like the macabees shield thing you had going on, the 1st person in the poem obviously remembers a lesson from sunday school or religious education class. i also like the fleeting friendship which lasted but 9 months or so. i think it a well crafted poem.

thanks for the read