Stitches
#4
I wonder how it would sound to you if you left that line alone, forcing that stop -- maybe with a colon to end the line -- but then took out the next stanza entirely and went straight to "my demon lover"?

Just tossing ideas at you Smile
It could be worse
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Messages In This Thread
Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:10 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 03:16 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:27 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 03:29 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:30 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 03:34 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 03:37 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 03:39 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 03:42 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:49 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 03:50 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:54 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 04:02 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 03:56 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 03:59 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 04:02 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 04:06 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 04:11 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-04-2011, 04:12 PM
RE: Stitches - by addy - 07-04-2011, 04:35 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-04-2011, 04:39 PM
RE: Stitches - by addy - 07-05-2011, 02:34 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 06:24 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-04-2011, 06:33 PM
RE: Stitches - by heslopian - 07-04-2011, 07:51 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-05-2011, 06:34 AM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-05-2011, 02:52 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-07-2011, 02:55 PM
RE: Stitches - by Leanne - 07-07-2011, 02:59 PM
RE: Stitches - by billy - 07-07-2011, 03:01 PM
RE: Stitches - by Aish - 07-07-2011, 03:14 PM



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