Drive

[billy]

"Bloated with pills, liquor, smoke, and come. -
The chase, the artiface memorial of good
things said and done that passed you.
Or rather, didn't want you"
~ J. N. Day
i'm not conversant with J N Day but i like the quote. (it reminds me of my youth.)



Near the drive-in,
beneath the summer- is 'the' needed?
threaded nests -
torn in pieces
and strung along
the restless leaves. the first sentence is a great image. and an original one as well
Our pick-up sputtered
and stopped.
It seemed simple enough
to walk home
across this bemused would it add anything by swapping across with bemused?
place.

Yes. would a '!' work better than a period?
No one ever
floats
in a good
place,
wherever they
are.
We're dead-
weight.
Even the
children know
we all
fall
down.

i can see very little that doesn't work for me. i googled the quote but couldn't find te author, but thats okay because for me the quote fits the poem irrespective of who said it real or not.
i like the form of the poem (obviously, i don't know if it's intended. but the way it tapers off from quote to 2nd to last verse works well.
for me the poem carries a certain scepticism.
all jmo
but for me this is a good poem.
thanks for the read.