06-28-2011, 09:43 AM
i love the content. i'm just struggling to not see it as prose.
the room familiar for me is excellent. i just think the the block writing detracts from a great read.
crushed,again for me is an excellent write. the extended cripple metaphor is perfect for the piece, yet for me that great write feels diminished and lost in the prose.
the gore; i love the line; Even in kindergarten crayons break. the content is so rich yet i feel i pass over it faster than i should because of the format.
i did force myself to slow down and in doing so found so much good original writing. i would have preferred to have had a break now again. jmo.
thanks for the read.
the room familiar for me is excellent. i just think the the block writing detracts from a great read.
crushed,again for me is an excellent write. the extended cripple metaphor is perfect for the piece, yet for me that great write feels diminished and lost in the prose.
the gore; i love the line; Even in kindergarten crayons break. the content is so rich yet i feel i pass over it faster than i should because of the format.
i did force myself to slow down and in doing so found so much good original writing. i would have preferred to have had a break now again. jmo.
thanks for the read.