06-23-2011, 09:47 AM
This is a very dense and lyrical work, so much so I can't quite comprehend every line, though overall I think it a comparison between the elevated beauty of verse and the harshness of reality, the narrator somewhat bitter that her place is with the latter. One suggestion I will make is that you remove all the punctuation (besides the apostrophes and quotation marks), as the commas and the full stops are so sporadic they're rendered unnecessary (IMHO). Other than that great work. I especially enjoyed the Tennyson verse.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe