06-21-2011, 10:44 AM
I really like your revised enjambment on those lines. I'll make the edit in a moment. For me "the simple things" is needed. I agree about "that" in the penultimate line. I'll edit that as well.
Thank you for the feedback and kind words.
Thank you for the feedback and kind words.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe