Beauty

[billy]

As a child I was obsessed with depravity.
Read every article I could
on handgun wielding sons of Sam
and hippies, bored with bongs and sex,
making piñatas from pregnant women.
My internal library was soaked
with blood and entrails, young ladies
screaming in the night, child snatchers,
angry cops. The endless dark
enshrouded me. But having grown the enjambment feels off for me, is 'but' needed?
and suffered since then, my personal trek
through the landscapes of hell
hardly even begun, I've learned to love would i'd learned to love' work better on it's own line?
the simple things. Red sour sauce is 'the simple things' needed?
on a ball of battered chicken, the way
a lamppost impregnates a puddle, great line
the perfect, compact loveliness
of a face or a thigh or an arse.
All this beauty and I - ill, depressive, is beauty needed,
angry, scared - must learn to snatch
these images, store them like nuts
so that when I die my internal library is 'that' needed?
will shimmer, blossom, then burst into light.

an example of how to sort out the enjambment to use or ignore;
screaming in the night,
child snatchers, angry cops.
The endless dark enshrouded me.
having grown and suffered
since then, my personal trek

i like the way you take us from the cold side to the warm side of the 1st person. some good images, love the lamppost in the puddle. how they evolve from the morbid to a way that counters it.
all in all i enjoyed the read jack. for me it needs a small edit to lift it that little bit more. (jmo)