(06-14-2011, 10:54 AM)jadielue Wrote: "A musing of unorthodox perhapsities and lack of patience for blatant disregard of common, gutter-trash literature - my work. Solemnty [should it be solemnity?]is definite. I'm prompted to finish my glass of Rattan and be done with it. Sincerely, Your Amplified Thoughts That Cower and Grovel Beside You" ~ Silva Damned haven't heard and couldn't find the quote with a google, nor have a heard of, or could find anything about the drink rattan. i take the drink for some reason to be a poison.. i like the the way the message juxtaposes with the prose poetry of the 2nd verseit's very cynical piece from top to toe and i have to say apart from trying to look up a couple of things i really enjoyed it. it felt like a down to earth rant poem formatted in such a way as to make me want to understand the 1st person and what had happened.
With Undue Respect
You complete me, oh, how my heart throbs with that cliche. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Fuck you. Would you like a condom for that hard-on you're waving, sir? Catch a moving train, why don't you. Love? Disgraceful. 'I love you.' is now in the same league as 'I'm sorry.' and 'She only blew me, I swear.' You're about as convincing as a police orifice, you prick. And while you're pissing yourself in your bed tonight remember this, obligated 'love' is treason, and if you step on my property bring some lube 'cause this double-barrel's gonna love you.
the rant in the above prose verse actually feels a bit cliche in place but it doesn't matter for me, i get the impression that that's it's intent. it has that hate humour in it we show when we've been really hurt. i particularly like the last two lines.
It Could Have Been
without STARS
we would
blister
up
and burst
for lack of
a
better
excuse.
Who gives a
FUCK about
STARS
anyways?
Stick your
curious
hand in
the curiouser
FUCKING
hole
and dig your
nails deep,
like your
God
said
to.
Dig, FUCKERS,
dig.
the switch from prose to free verse works extremely well as an example, more so because it has little use of poetic device.
the 2nd verse feels like it's aimed at a particular person and the third to cheats in general. i'm not much the wiser after the read and will come back to gain a better insight. for me thats what good poems often do.
sorry if i rambled on. good to see you laying one down.
thanks for the read. (jmo)