The Dance

[addy]

I really liked this one... it was evocative without being necessarily visceral. You have a little blood and snot but overall it exudes a beauty. I just have a few suggestions for editing it but otherwise very nice

Naked dancing,
sprawled and effervescing I love this line... captures my imagination
with beaded sudor,
exuding grunts and staccato whines.

The steps take seconds,
no preamble.
The closing reels
are attained rapidly. Not sure what this line means? Just needs rephrasing but I think this verse is good

With an atomic spasm, I quite like the explosion metaphor, but imo the shift in image was a little abrupt
everthing clenches.
The crescendo is here. Just imo, but I think "is here" (the way it's phrased) coupled with the hanging break of the verse undercuts the actual feeling of a crescendo that you want to build. Try to maintain the tension that will bridge the crescendo over to the next line.

Unfathomable amounts
of furious nerve endings
burst in a supernovic fashion. qualifying it with "fashion" weakens "supernova" unnecessarily, imo

Several billion pounds of power,
seventy miles high, it's odd to me that the line before this is generic ("several billion") while this is very specific ("seventy miles"); maybe just pick one angle or the other
force my head into the cold brick.

And to end, torn fingernails,
a nosebleed. Like where you ended it