Burning Reflected

[billy]

I smoke through the window,
since the room should not be
grey in the mornings.

So between is so needed.
drawn crackling drags nice image, this is what i was in about
that seem to emit a power, are seem and a needed
and faint touches
of balled ash that fall
softly between fingers
like an insect's flight,
I regard with some is some needed
exacting illusion
the reflection of my humble flame
in the cocked glass
of my window-fold. i like this image

The living phantasm
of the reflected flame flame has been use once already would another word work
appears to me
as a growing, glowing orb, the 1st 5 lines are reiteration of the 1st verse and add little
rising in the black sky,
exploding some hundred million miles away.

Pulsing in bright, dying orange,
this beautiful star,
in the black night of my mind,
engulfs and consumes
the unmeasured universe,
starting with this sky,
this sea, this earth,
the divine explosion
removes every trace of life
from this violent planet.
Annihilation, deletion, negation.
No bed to rise from tomorrow,
in the grey morning.

for me the poem should end on the last line of the 2nd verse as the 3rd is just retelling it in the the 1st 4 lines. without the 3rd the 4th needs a little restructuring to fit the 1st and 2nd

it sounds bad but it isn't
i think the 2nd verse just needs a few words removing as they add nothing to the piece. and if done, you may have to do a little wit the enjambment.
for me the last two verse could be a seperate poem with a small edit.

i think with a small edit you have the making of one really good poem, or two really good poems, the choice is yours, jmo