06-07-2011, 05:21 PM
this megalith lies
in a very strange way,
parts of it have been attacked
with an angle grinder,
so the position of it resembles
a puckered plant.
it's one of the reason's you'll hear show, don't tell.
saying "i love her" is never enough, the above is show, though it could be made into a sharper image still.
below is tell;
a megalith,
pouting at the sky,
often we don't know what the writer knows, so certain phrases or simple tells leave thinking as what was said. and why. jmo.
i do how we see more of your poetry, don't forget the mild crit forum where people can just point out one or two points, instead of an in depth crit.
just keep writing and reading, getting feedback is the finest way for us all to improve.
in a very strange way,
parts of it have been attacked
with an angle grinder,
so the position of it resembles
a puckered plant.
it's one of the reason's you'll hear show, don't tell.
saying "i love her" is never enough, the above is show, though it could be made into a sharper image still.
below is tell;
a megalith,
pouting at the sky,
often we don't know what the writer knows, so certain phrases or simple tells leave thinking as what was said. and why. jmo.
i do how we see more of your poetry, don't forget the mild crit forum where people can just point out one or two points, instead of an in depth crit.
just keep writing and reading, getting feedback is the finest way for us all to improve.