The Etheridge of Solvent

[Todd]

This has such a cool ambiguity to it. The images seem clear yet I feel I'm dancing around the meaning. Here are some impressions.

The title is cool no idea what Etheridge is, but the idea of solvent fits with the decomposition of the apples. The disolving of life into its baser elements.

Out in the desert, on
a dirt road, apples fall
to their tired deaths and
drown in harmony with
the earth.

I'm struck that we have apples growing, ripening, and falling out in the desert. You would think the desert wouldn't be the right place for it. It feels like we're dropping contradictions (or probably paradoxes would be the better word) side-by-side. I love the image of the apples. I love that it's life in the midst of barrenness. Tired deaths is great as is drown in harmony. My only suggestions for this strophe are (again use what you like ignore the rest):

L1: Agree with Billy on moving the preposition down a line and breaking on desert.

L3: It's a bias I know but I also don't really like breaks on "and" I'd consider dropping that down a line as well.

L4-5: While I don't mind "with the earth" you could choose to cut the phrase. It may make it all a little more ambiguous, but it also might be a stronger choice--just an option.

Pending suspension
between the fabric
that we walk on and
the amber gear lands.

Now this part is awesome. This alludes back to tenuous hanging of the apples before the drop and seems to tie into human existence. I love that life is seen as this fabric that we walk on. It makes it seem more fragile. It isn't bedrock, or any kind of stone. The membrane bends and sways--I like that a lot. The amber gear lands is probably my favorite phraase in the entire poem. It's evocative. It has sort of a steampunk post-apocalyptic feel to it. It also makes me think of life as a machine and contemplate bugs caught in amber. The image has a lot of echoes in it.

Only suggestion here:

L7: again my bias on the and. I'd consider shifting the contraction down one line.

To ponder such things
tears a hole. Somewhere.

Beautiful ending. It points back to the fabric, but also makes us think that there is something dangerous about staring too closely at the nature of things. I like the ambiguous "somewhere". Again, I like how this poem moves forward but always points back to its earlier images. Very subtle...It's a cool memorable write.

Best,

Todd




"Death is a delightful hiding-
place for weary men." ~ Herodotus.