05-14-2011, 05:37 PM
The enjambment is very random here. Why not make it into a couplet, moving "bacteria" up a line and breaking after the comma, then putting "wounds" after "your"? Other than that this is a charmingly cynical slice of snapshot lyricism which forces you to think about what exactly it's telling you, a rarity these days.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe