Amidst

[billy]

"How often is there a moment where you truly see
rest in someone's eyes? Twice, love, twice. Because is 'because' needed?
when you leave this world with the ferryman your would 'your' be better starting the next line?
ever-loyal eyes flash two times, like the lens of an
immortal camera, the moment is captured but gone."

for me it's an excellent poem, if i have a real nit, it's about enjambment.


"How often is there a moment where you truly see
rest in someone's eyes? Twice, love, twice. Because
when you leave this world with the ferryman
your ever-loyal eyes flash two times,
like the lens of an immortal camera,
the moment is captured but gone."

if you don't think it reads better then disregard it.
other than that bravo, certainly a publishable little piece. jmo
thanks for the read