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Rain, please stay, please leave
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04-18-2011, 10:27 AM
Beautiful. What you described... I've felt that way as well during rainy days. My only minor, minor nitpick would be there is a disconnect between the first and second stanza, and I just didn't understand why the POV mood of the narration suddenly changed. Just imo. But still, very lovely.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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Rain, please stay, please leave - by dudestir127 - 04-18-2011, 02:05 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by Ris Yerg - 04-18-2011, 02:16 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by dudestir127 - 04-18-2011, 04:10 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by kath3 - 04-18-2011, 04:22 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by billy - 04-18-2011, 06:13 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by addy - 04-18-2011, 10:27 AM
RE: Rain, please stay, please leave - by dudestir127 - 04-18-2011, 11:55 AM
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