04-14-2011, 09:21 PM
That the emotional weight of this piece is immense goes without saying, but what makes it is the imagery and how you convey such pain and terror with a consciousness which bolsters the realism. My favourite line: "spittle splashed my face as he swore his love." A grim and shocking, insightful poem. I can't really fault it in any way yet. I'll read it again later and see if I can offer you constructive feedback.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe