New Beginnings

[addy]

Like the idea of the fruit of original sin as the human heart. A graceful piece with interesting food for thought.

July 8, 2003 3:18 PM

She took a bite of the apple
sealing doom grimly on the horizon "sealing doom grimly" is a bit overdone
of the ocean rising and falling
as of someone breathing, my english isn't perfect, but "as of someone" sounds strange to me
holding their breath too long
and sighing. at this point I think there have been to many "-ing" words, imo
Another bite of the apple
exposes the seeds.
Perhaps they would learn
to grow beyond the mistakes I like the association of the seeds with potential
of the past comma here? blinding
ourselves to the ocean rising
and rising further still you repeated the image, but "rising and rising" instead of "rising and falling". Was the contradiction in narrative intentional?
downing out the past,
saving only one pious man
and his family biting
their own apples of future
destruction. But, a new
start for now. I like that you're speaking about the start of generations, reminding us of a "family tree" but with "seeds" instead of "roots"
An apple core browning.
None left for the biting.
Only seed hope is grinning odd but interesting phrasing
a new beginning.
My poor heart, the apple. I like this. The fruit and the seeds are not literal children, but the intangible continuance of heart and hope.