03-29-2011, 01:57 PM
Not much I can say now in terms of edit...it's got a great feel and lots of great images. The opening couplet with the vestal virgin could have been boring, but following that up with a dry observation of your testicles was inspired 
. The sense of macabre alienation and violation was excellently palpable... but its the course wit of the narration that really makes it shine.
The only thing I can see is I think the misspelling of "unscratchable". Other than that, this was very nicely done.
. The sense of macabre alienation and violation was excellently palpable... but its the course wit of the narration that really makes it shine.The only thing I can see is I think the misspelling of "unscratchable". Other than that, this was very nicely done.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?