03-25-2011, 05:21 PM
my nit is;
then write this sentence.
of course you did, we can see the fact.
other than that i thought it was pretty good, loved the last two lines apart from the part shown.
maybe an harangued instead of hassled to denote the mans age. i like the 1st verse, the interactions he has (if only mentally, or in reality depending on how you read it)
thanks for the read.
then write this sentence.
of course you did, we can see the fact.
other than that i thought it was pretty good, loved the last two lines apart from the part shown.
maybe an harangued instead of hassled to denote the mans age. i like the 1st verse, the interactions he has (if only mentally, or in reality depending on how you read it)
thanks for the read.