The Miracle of Distance

[addy]

I sit outside my house, smoking the brand
That killed my grandfather- nice opening lines
Wisps, mingling with moonlight
Climb the aluminum siding
And die, somewhere out of sight.

My father (wherever he is)
Is probably drunk. Belly-up
In a tin fishing boat, watching
The sky spin like a dark disco ball This line didn't work as well for me? Maybe a more meaningful or profound description other than "dark" will give the line more implied layer, like "cosmic" or something. Just imo

He sees the same stars I do. Very nice twist. The more cliche use of this line is to imply common experience/ connectedness, but here you used it in a blunt way that somehow seems to further widen the emotional chasm
The ones who, long ago, burned together;
Now, broken glass strewn on a black carpet
In God's forgotten cellar


I crush my cigarette and walk off.
My footsteps echo like down an empty hallway
To nowhere. I hesitated at this line as well, but for a different reason; assuming you were outside, it wouldn't echo like a hallway.


Just before I close the door-
The night leans into my ear
And I hear-



"There is no God but the God of loneliness-
And distance is his miracle." This close really struck me. Very, very nice.

This is even more profound than it originally appears. By comparing connection and togetherness to the stars in the sky (that in reality are not only probably dead but nowhere near one another), you say therefore that the human connections and relations we have are merely an illusion of relativity. A great take on the subject.