03-16-2011, 06:41 PM
there were two poems posted that were the same.
yes, filthy, nasty...that sort of meme.
here's the last verse;
ah well. he only did it for the drink anyway.
we survive how we can.
indignation is a rich man's pursuit,
and finally for those left alive.
it's really out in left field as far as the specifics of bukowski goes,
yes he did it for the drink but he also had to eat and live, it could have been said about a hundred million people.
the ah well, feels to me a little condescending. the guy was a drunken womaniser. most people we know like that we say, what a twat, etc.
the last two lines also seem to lack a little syntax (i think)
and finally for those left alive.....
finally what ? hehe.
like i said, i think you have a good poem, i think it could be a publishable one with a little work jmo.
yes, filthy, nasty...that sort of meme.
here's the last verse;
ah well. he only did it for the drink anyway.
we survive how we can.
indignation is a rich man's pursuit,
and finally for those left alive.
it's really out in left field as far as the specifics of bukowski goes,
yes he did it for the drink but he also had to eat and live, it could have been said about a hundred million people.
the ah well, feels to me a little condescending. the guy was a drunken womaniser. most people we know like that we say, what a twat, etc.
the last two lines also seem to lack a little syntax (i think)
and finally for those left alive.....
finally what ? hehe.
like i said, i think you have a good poem, i think it could be a publishable one with a little work jmo.