(content warning) Writing With a Boner

[billy]

i always needed silence to work
silence of the mind as well as in the room this line feels a little redundant
but now sitting here with constricted jeans
pausing to pull down my zip
just so the pressure will ease for me this verse needs another line

lines still emerge like sunk artefacts
bobbing up through the scum
on the surface of a lake i like the image

i imagine your buttocks
small yet plump
dimpled and pitted through maturity
like fruit left on the loam to ripe should it be 'ripen'?
how i'd kneel down
and kiss each side
explore with trembling fingers
your waste

and then your navel like an eye
from where your mother's cord was cut
a relic saved for adulthood
so i could probe and study it

i always needed silence to work
silence of the mind as well as in the room
but now sitting here with constricted jeans
pausing to pull down my zip
just so the pressure will ease the reiteration would work on a longer poem but on such a short one it feels a bit cumbersome

lines still emerge like sunk artefacts
lines I've gleamed from your body (for some reason this line feels like love) i like it

nicely done jack.

for me the main nit is the reiteration of a whole verse in such a short poem, i feel cheated lol. as usual your descriptive narratives are really good.