(content warning) duskless summer

[Lawrence]

Your poems are often difficult to critique because they are so ambiguous, and I don't think that's a bad thing.

here i am and there are you
attractive
indifferent
in your duskless summer (I'm fine with all of it so far)

the sun doesn't move
(you've broken its legs) (I'm unsure about this line. "You've broken its legs" falls a bit sort for me.)
it tans you a healthy blandness ("A healthy blandness" also sounds odd.)

white white white

the colour of oblivion
and blank paper (I don't have much to say about this part)

i want you because my windows won't close
they open always on your duskless summer (I love these two lines)

i want to fuck you and kiss you
and buy you ribbons
and eat your anus
and feed you teacakes (This part had me laughing pretty loudly)

"i want to break into (Is "break" the correct verb?)
your duskless summer
shit on the roses and heal the sun's legs
watch it scuttle off
like a beetle down a wall" (If the "sun's legs" line worked for me, I'd applaud the great image.)

then mount you in the dark
and violate you
while muttering throughout
how pure my love is (Good close)


I wish I could provide a less general critique, but as a poem becomes more vapory, so do its mistakes.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed this; I loved the "teacakes" line.