Floorboards (Revision Three)

[heslopian]

I do not trust my bedroom floor
At night, to keep its helpful form. Is the comma after "night" needed?
Its bowing boards, its croaking planks, Would "creaking" make a bit more sense? I know it's less original, but "croaking" just seems strange.
The nails that bind its rigid ranks
Must dissipate as night evolves
And shadows loiter shopping malls Excellent three lines.
And when the strand of streetlights sign Would "line" work better here, and "signs" instead of "lines" in the following line? As it is seems a tad incohesive.
My sidewalk with moronic lines
Of milky haze; I watch the face
Of wood beneath my bed replace
Its boards with black, its nails with void
And any structure be destroyed. Everything in between the semi-colon and the comma after black is wonderful, but from "its nails" to "destroyed" is rather contrived and nonsensical. I'd suggest deleting it.
The ceiling, zooming out of view
The windows shut themselves, and soon
I am alone. The syntax here is slightly awkward. Would this work better?: "The ceiling zooms beyond my view/The windows shut themselves."

This is a special loneliness-
No rosary or crucifix
Fearfully clutched against my chest
Will make it easier to rest. Love the rhyme of "chest" and "rest."
I look at where the clock is hung
It’s like some taunting, ticking sun Excellent.
Radiating time, so slowly- Is ", so" needed?
I watch its seconds crawl above me

Some nights, I sleep. That, I dislike-
I wake; and all is clear and light. Would "I awake and all is light" work better? I don't why but, as it is, this seems a wee bit cliche.
The windows are no longer closed Could a comma go here?
The floorboards, back in ordered rows-
Bacon sizzling, the mail arrives
It’s such a sick and specious lie.