02-11-2011, 06:19 AM
Again, the final lines are excellent. I envy your ability to close a poem, Ris. Ending's are one of my many weaknesses. The only suggestion I would make is to change "Sun's ray" to simply "sun ray." "Sun's" before "random" makes it sound like the earth has more than one sun. Thanks for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe